ASK THE EXPERTS ABOUT
General LGBT Aging Issues


Q just diagnosed at 53
  Dec 14, 2009

Dear Dr. Kooden: Thanks so much for responding to my question. I am trying to not dwell on the past -- and am doing pretty good. I used to walk 5 miles daily; now I walk 6 to 10 miles as I find the time outdoors is good for my mental health and I'm thnking of other things while walking. I live in a small town in Michigan (500 people). I've been in contact with the Marquette County Health Department, and they've been great. They are trying to match me with an HIV positive man about my age, so I can talk with him. I am not ready to discuss this with family and friends yet. My mother (age 74) went through this with my brother who died 13 years ago this month, and this is something I just cannot share with her. Also, I met a man my age on the Internet who has been HIV positive for 4 years. He has the best positive attitude, sends me cards -- and we've met once in person. He lives 11 hours away, so it is hard to see him frequently, but we are planning on getting together again. He has been great. So I have been sharing with him long distance and via computer and through personal contact for one weekend -- and I hope to be matched with a local man here soon.

I thank you very much for your advice. It is very appreciated.

Marc in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan


A Response from Dr. Kooden

Dear Marc, I was so pleased to hear from you again and to see that you are doing so well. From my own experience, I have learned no tot let the distance get in the way from developing a long-term relationship. It sounds like you have the beginning of something which would be good to pursue. But most importantly, you have a positive attitude which will be great benefit to your body as well as your mind. As I mentioned, my experience with distances has been a good one. In fact, my partner and I celebrated our 8th anniversary today--we met when I was 65 and he was 57. He moved from Cleveland to live with me in NYC after 18 months of back and forth. Again, congratulation on doing so well. Are you so sure your mother could not be more a part of your present life? Best to you, Harold

Share


 



Terms of Use

Please remember that this forum is designed for educational purposes only, and experts are not engaged through this forum in rendering medical, mental health, legal or other professional advice or services. If you have or suspect you may have a medical, mental health, legal or other problem that requires advice, consult your own caregiver, attorney or other qualified professional.

Experts appearing on this page are independent and are solely responsible for editing and fact-checking their material. Neither SAGE nor any of the collaborating websites at which this forum is carried is the publisher or speaker of posted visitors' questions or the experts' material.

Questions and messages posted to this forum are not statements of advice, opinion, or information of SAGE or any of its collaborating sites. While neither SAGE nor its collaborating sites regularly reviews posted content, we reserve the right to delete, move, or edit postings if we deem it appropriate under the circumstances. Visitors submitting questions remain solely responsible for the content of their messages.