Hi there,

Are you saying that you alreaady know gay women and would like to know more OR do you really mean that you know none at this time? If you already know some lesbians, bring up this question with them and ask them if there is something in your behavior that keeps lesbians at a distance.

If you do not know any lesbians, then start going to venues where both gay men and lesbians are present. This is a self-selecting venue where the attendees want to be with each other and understand that this will be a mixed venue. Start taking the first step in reaching out and be clear about your motives.

In my experience, many lesbians are not comfortable with gay men as these men act towards them as non-gay men do towards women in general. I have seen many gay men approach lesbians from a position of male entitlement without realizing the inherent putdown in their approach. Given their history with gay males, many lesbians are reticent to get close to gay men because of their lack of insight about their male-female relationships.

So do your homework on yourself and see where you may be doing something that would make lesbians wary of you. Keep up the interest and keep attending these mixed venues. Remember, we gay men are socialized first as males in this culture, then as gay men. If you have looked at yourself and understand what I am talking about, I am sure you will start connecting with those lesbians that you find interesting.