ASK THE EXPERTS ABOUT
General LGBT Aging Issues


Q Gaining acceptance from the senior community after coming out
  Mar 14, 2008

do I get involved in the senior LGBT community when I don't feel accepted? I was married, had a family and lived most of my life as a straight woman. Now I feel a little rejected by my lesbian peers because I am not as out as they are. Do I have to come out more?


A Response from Dr. Kooden

Hello,

I am a bit confused by your question. Initially, you made it seem that you are not accepted by other lesbians because of your history. But then you wonder if you should be more out. I doubt that the problems you are having have to do with your past as I know for a fact that many lesbians in SAGE have had a married history with children and grandchildren. Some women did not come out till their sixties and even seventies and are active and accepted members of SAGE.

So this makes me wonder if there is something about the way you are acting now that is the problem. In what ways do you feel you need to be more out? Due to the long history of being in the closet, how much of this closet still exists for you? Are there any lesbians that you are comfortable with and could raise this question with them? Focus on your present behavior and not on your history except as how your history may be influencing your present behavior with these women.

Good luck and let me know what you are doing.

Harold

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