Quite frankly, my first response to your question was "hell no." They are the ones who should be asking the question about why they are so uncomfortable with their friends' behavior. What is it that makes them so uncomfortable? It is their closet and you have worked hard to break down your own closet. Maybe they are not the ones to be with in public as you do not want to play their game. As you know, the line between being yourself and "flaunting" is a thin one and has very different meanings. Holding the hands of your partner in public can be labeled "flaunting" by some while others see it as a natural expression of a loving relationship.

Remember, sometimes the context determines the appropriateness of your behavior. There are times when the same behavior in Chelsea can result in a physical assault somewhere else. (Though as someone who was fag-bashed in Chelsea, I know that simply being identified as being gay can get you assaulted anywhere at anytime.) So you have to make a decision as to exactly what your friends are talking about. Is this an issue of physical safety, emotional comfort or a violation of your integrity which you have fought for. This promises to be an interesting discussion with them.

Have fun, Harold