I am a senior straight male, recently married and now have a newly arrived Chinese stepson of 18. He hides websites from me when i pass his open door if he is online surfing the web. I suspect he is cruising the net for companionship. He has asked if he could go to a nearby larger city alone to visit a new friend, also Chinese. My question is: do I allow him any and all freedoms to wander carelessly or perhaps daringly into a hardcore gay arena on his own? Or,possibly is there a source for gay teen group support or gay community centers to suggest? Thanks from A.C.

Dear A.C.

I was in the midst of writing my answer to you and I either lost it or it was posted erroneously. So I shall write this answer as if it were lost in cyberspace.

First of all, what makes you so sure that he might be gay? He just might be hesitant to share something personal with his new stepfather which may or may not have anything to do with sex. His wanting to hide something from you may be a cultural response or simply how he feels he needs to deal with you in this new relationship.

There are always the cautions that one takes in going to a large city, especially if one is from a rural setting. Since I do not know where you live, I cannot make a referral to a specific community center. Most of the larger cities do have a lgbt community center or helpline.Start looking in the phone books or call the LGBT National Hotline at 212 989-0999 and ask them about local grouups for teens in your area.

Good luck, Harold Kooden